Every girl crazy about a sharp dressed man
-’s clothes on her bedroom floor after a thorough seeing to
'that's my boy'
'never the face'
'or the hair'
gotta keep the moneymakers in one piece’
Someone help me. I had bookmarked something someone reblogged the other day about typography rules but my dumb xkit didn’t save it. Did any of my mutual follows reblog/see it and if so, is it not too far buried for someone to retrieve it for me? I’ll love you forever and shower you with banana bread and eskimo kisses and platonic slow dancing.
So I suppose I prompted myself with this, but I started writing it and I couldn’t stop. Behold, AU Rumbelle, Mayor!Belle goes to Mr. Gold to get a baby. But she isn’t interested in an adoption…
Just a little ficlet because it wanted to be brought into the world. Kinda like the baby Belle’s after here.
lolol im sorry i’ll stop now
"I…. ah, I’m sorry…..?"
The small woman adjusted her spectacles on her nose and lifted a sheaf of papers onto the desk, shuffling them into order.
"Well, according to my research, your physical features combined with mine would produce a very comely child and from what I know of your political views and past experiences, the child will have a very well-rounded education. You’ve never set foot near the church or the nunnery except to claim our rent payments, and there’s also that. You are a wealthy and tasteful man, judging from your wardrobe and your car. And also I’ve seen the way you look at me in the diner and watch me walk away from the front desk to retrieve your law books in the library and of course there was that time that I came into your shop from the rain and my dress was wet and you seemed very interested in—"
Morbidly curious to know who else was on her list. :)
Oh, don’t worry. We’ll get to see The List some time soon. Not that she’ll know that for a while…
a fairytale were a young girl is kidnapped and forced to marry a demon king and instead of being like no! never! shes like fine as long as i get to help you destroy and hes like lol cool but soon shes doing a bit too much and her husband king is like okay enough power and shes like bye see you in the dungeon and hes like what and hes dragged away cause now everyone is more loyal to her and she reigns over the underworld and the surface world with a cold iron fist
I’ll give you anything you want if I can have this. Literally anything. Just…. please.
Why are most villains women? …This is interesting!
Because we look fabulous while doing it.
jafar, captain hook and hades all look like the sassy gay friends in the group
excuse me but are we going to ignore the fact that Maleficent and Ursula are giving each other bedroom eyes
look at hades tapping his fingers like ‘how do i delicately ask everyone if they wanna have an evil orgy? before or after our third round of souls of the damned good punch?’
Then I wonder…what was wrong with this girl? She seems pretty and knows how to bow. Get to know her! Just because she isn’t wearing a sparkly motherflipping dress.
maybe he’s got a thing for blondes?
He likes his own preference. See here’s the thing that makes their love so awesome. No other woman stood out before Cinderella. Sure, they’re all beautiful but remember? The prince thought this was boring. He would rather be out riding his horse or something than meeting all these women. He wasn’t looking for love. He just did this ball because the king wanted it. He’s annoyed and looks up at his father yawning because he doesn’t want to be with anyone. Then Cinderella comes and she’s the ONLY one not in line waiting to meet him. She’s the only one who has no idea what she’s doing there and she’s walking around aimlessly. That’s what caught the prince. Some of you might say that it was her beautiful dress but I tend to believe that it was because she was the only one who wasn’t waiting to see him. He knew all these women just liked him because he’s the prince. He knew they were only after the kingdom so they could be rich (like Cinderella’s step-sisters). He could tell Cinderella was different. Even if her dress made him notice her first, it’s the woman that makes the dress. Not the dress that makes the woman. To seal the deal, when Cinderella is running away, her excuse is that she hasn’t met the prince which shows him that she fell in love for him. Not his royalty.
…or receiving lines are part of protocol at fancy dress events where the person hosting is of a position of honor, so all those girls are ‘waiting to meet him’ because that’s how the goddamned system works, but okay, yeah, let’s just paint a picture of all women as gold digging scuzbags except the one lady who just plain didn’t know what actual protocol is.
Yeah, and let’s not downplay the amount of glitter and hair product she had on her person. Really, this was love at first sight- a physical attraction more than anything else. All we see them doing in the scene is walking and dancing. We may assume there was some small amount of small talk layered in there, but I doubt it went so deep and thorough as even ‘what’s your favorite color/season/first name’. Especially that last one. When she starts running away at the chime of midnight, he calls after her that he doesn’t even know her name. So this is the only woman at the ball that really caught his attention and he couldn’t be bothered to ask after the single piece of information that one usually receives upon first meeting someone? But nope, definitely way super mondo in love with her. Mystery blonde woman, we are soul mates. Have my babies now and we can work out the rest later.
Really, you’ll see what you want to from this scene, but he asked her to dance because she was the hottest chick in the room, not because she was ‘ooh unique special unicorn woman who doesn’t follow the tides of society hardcore wow much rebel very independent’. And she agreed to dance with him because he was the first guy who asked and come on, how do you say no to those big, pink fish lips? Seriously, what’s in the water up at that castle? It was mutual attraction and circumstance that brought them together, not a mutual love for being different to their peers.
And also, let’s not ignore the fact that though each period in time likely had its gold diggers, young women in the kingdom were likely more akin to political pawns in tulle than malicious husband hunters.
tl;dr, Cinderella’s fairy godmother put her in that dress because she knew it would either catch her a prince or blind everyone in the room, let’s not disrespect women who were looking to improve their lives by marrying a handsome man and maybe being happy, and also when the prettiest guy in the room asks you to dance, it must be the prince. First rule of Disney. Come on, ‘Rella. Get your head in the game.
Hoping to bust out a chapter or two tomorrow evening as an apology for being so freaking scarce lately. Not that it really inconveniences anyone to have me too busy to clutter up their dashes with stupid stuff, but I miss you guys. Last dance show tonight then out for dinner with my mom then hopefully I’ll have some free time and energy. RN, I’m hoping to write up the next chapter of AGotO and AVDP, so look for those tomorrow night
maybe idk who knows definitely not me ever not even a little.
Hope everyone is doing well and having a nice week/nearly end of the semester. Mama dragon loves you. Drink water, get sleep, prune the bitches from your life and carry on being fabulous.